This is my Dad.
Well, technically, in this picture he’s not a Dad yet. He is pre-Dad in his roller skating carhop work uniform. I never saw him in these Buddy Holly style glasses and I never knew him without his Magnum P.I. mustache (it was epic, people!). Here he sits, on what I assume is a work break. I can tell, just by looking at this picture, something is on his mind.
I wonder what?...
Does he know that he will have two daughters in the next several years? Does he know that he will teach them both to shoot BB guns in the backyard? Does he know that both girls will be solid competitive swimmers? Does he know that his musical legacy will carry on, in big and small ways, through his oldest daughter (that's me!)?
I wonder…
Does he know that he will leave this world too early? Most certainly not...none of us knew, and none of us would have guessed...And, I imagine if he did know, he would change exactly nothing about his life and legacy.
Does he now know, from his Heavenly perch, that he has 4 grandchildren who talk about him and have given him his “Grandfather name” - PapaPapa (name’s so nice, you say it twice) from my kids, and Granddad from my sister’s kids? Does he know that his grandson - the only boy of the mix - embodies many of his characteristics? Does he know that I still think about him everyday and know that he is around me much of the time? I bet he does - he was always magical like that.
_____________________
“She did not stand alone, but what stood behind her, the most potent moral force in her life, was the love of her Father.” - Harper Lee, "Go Set a Watchman"
I posted this quote in my previous Facebook post. This year, given a “familial structural change” (a-hem) over the last year in my life, I wanted to refocus my gratitude for Fathers, so I went back to looking at the first Fatherly influence of my life. My dad.
….except, for many, many years, I’ve done a wonderful job of avoiding Father’s Day and all things associated. I’ve isolated myself and cried alone in the grief of missing my dad…
But…
This year, Father’s Day ended up being quite different. For the first time since my Father passed in 1991, I didn’t seclude myself, or cry, or grieve. Today, I celebrated. My dad managed to leave a wonderful legacy that lives well on through me, my sister and our children.
Without my dad, I wouldn’t be able to access the life lessons he taught and, in turn, teach them to my children....
My children wouldn't know about serving others with no expectation of reciprocity, or that taking care of your creativity is just as important as taking care of your physical body. They wouldn’t know that, sometimes, people disappoint you but that forgiveness and second chances are just as important as setting healthy boundaries. They, for sure, wouldn’t understand that laughter is sometimes the best balm for an aching heart, and they wouldn’t know that keeping the faith is what will move mountains when facing all of life's challenges. Maybe also they wouldn't know that dogs, in fact, really are Man's Best Friend.
So, today, instead of crying, I am smiling and celebrating - my dad would want it that way. And, really, I just wanted to tell you about my dad. He was pretty incredible and I really should be sharing happy memories of him.
He was a great man, loved his girls, his adopted girls, and he kids he served and he is missed!